The Joyzine Rock Mock Election: MJ Hibbett wants your vote

We’re only a few weeks away from the general election, and with the news coverage full of murky behind the scenes pacts and accusations of communism, we thought we’d contact some of our favourite bands to see if they could do any better.  Last week David Devant & His Spirit Wife made their pitch last week, this week it’s the turn of Peterborough troubadour MJ Hibbett.

Party Name:
MJ Hibbett’s MJ Hibbett & The Validators Party (of National Unity)

Describe your party logo:
It was supposed to be an inspiring picture of a plant (or maybe a bird?) but somebody has drawn a cock and hairy balls instead.

Campaign Slogan:

Let’s bring the nation together by getting the whole country into a van and going off on tour for a week.

Why should people vote for you?:
For the same reasons that they come to our gigs – pity, drunken error, or because they’re related to us.

Make 3 Key election promises:
If elected we will bring in fines for anybody who sings in an American accent with 17 extra syllables in every vowel.
Mandatory prison sentences for anybody who says “these data”. It’s a synonym for “information” for goodness sake!
The badger cull will be stopped immediately. That’s not really a joke, it’s just a good idea.

What is your policy on…

Brexit:
The easiest thing to do is for everyone to pretend we didn’t mean it but didn’t like to make a fuss, and then all shuffle about a bit then never mention it again.

The Environment:
Replace all roads with railway tracks, except for the HS2 route which should be replaced with a series of skateboard parks.

Health:
Immediate introduction of robot doctors in all surgeries. Nothing can go wrong!

Crime:
Immediate introduction of robot police in all constabularies. See above!

Education:
Abolish all exams. This will make the kids free, and also mean I will always have more O Levels than them.

MJ Hibbett’s new election themed single ‘You’re a Tory Now’ is out on 29th November.  You can also catch him playing live at The King & Queen in Fitzrovia for ‘Totally Acoustic’ on Thursday 21st November.  Find out more at mjhibbett.co.uk

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Sadly you won’t be able to put your cross next to MJ Hibbett’s MJ Hibbett & The Validators Party (of National Unity) in the General Election, but you should still register to vote if you haven’t already – follow this link to get started.

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